Save His Calm

Tracks

1. 01They Never Found Me3:48
   The words

   I can’t bring myself to seek the truth any more
   Don’t ask me how I feel
   I’m neither up nor down
   Who’s keeping score anyhow?
   
   I can’t face you fully or look you in the eye these days
   Don’t think that I don’t want to
   But my heart is sore
   I’m looking down and down I go
   
   I know two worlds
   and I don’t know which is real
   so I choose each word
   and the darkness I conceal
   
   chorus
   Ah, oh! Where did he go?
   High then low I’m still searching for my soul
   So near but they never found me
   and I’ll wait a while in my silent purgatory
   
   I can’t bring myself to say I love you any more
   Don’t think that I don’t want to
   But on these words
   I’m choking now somehow
   
   I try to hold you but my arms are thin these days
   Don’t think I should be leaned on
   This beam’s been brought down
   and down I go once more
   
   I know two worlds
   and I don’t know which is real
   so I write this down
   and hope the light I can reveal
   
   chorus

2. 02Done With Calling You3:51
   The words

   We’ve come a long way down divergent dusty paths
   You see through my lifeless stare and oh I’ve felt your wrath
   I don’t mean to be churlish but your voice it starts to grate
   Time for us to close this door oh chain up this gate
   
   chorus
   Oh oh I see a brighter road
   Oh oh given you everything you’re owed
   Oh oh I’m taking back the rest of my life
   Oh oh I’m done with calling you
   
   For sixteen years we struggled on each day harder than the last
   More twisted now than ever before and pining for the past
   But pines grow tall their needles fall and rot into the earth
   Your needles are your poison words eroding my self worth
   
   chorus
   
   I dream of freedom and how sweet that fruit must taste
   The dream it sours and I’m still caged - Oh God! My life’s a waste
   You say you’ve tried your best and I’ve not tried at all
   Look around the ink’s long dried the writing’s on the wall
   
   chorus

3. 03The Rainbow of Your Last Days4:13
   The words

   Red the anger as the sluagh fold your soul deep in their wings
   A quarter gill man, for page and quill
   
   That viscous liquid orange hit the hospital room floor and glazed my shoes
   A quarter gill man, for page and quill
   
   My clear eyed boy long gone I saw the windows to your soul awash with yellow
   A quarter gill man, for page and quill
   
   Green was the fairy that would chase away your fears
   Long your days spent feeling blue as your months tumbled into years
   Take a drink man, for leaf and ink
   
   Indigo the veins that spread like vine across your face
   You question why I thought it right to enter you in the human race
   Take a drink man, for leaf and ink
   
   That fragrant scent of violet on the breeze that blows gently through the yard that marks the space
   Where we laid your bones to rest
   
   and they served whisky at your wake

4. 04Just Enough to Let the Light In4:29
   The words

   It’s just gone ten years since I met you
   There’ll be ten more and there’ll be a score and
   Still our fire gently smoulders and
   That little bit fire still glows close to your door
   
   Just enough to let the light in
   Just enough and no more
   Me the yang, you my shining yin
   Oh we paddled our boat and I lost my oar
   
   Must be nine since I loved you
   A love that would sink the world’s hate
   And, still our fire gently smoulders
   and that little bit fire still glows close to your gate
   
   Then its eight since I left you
   Since I put my foot on the brake
   I was just young and uncertain
   With much growing to do but you couldn’t wait
   
   Just enough to let the light in
   Cut away with your blade!
   Hand in hand and skin on skin
   We built our castle of sand and I broke my spade
   
   So for seven long years and a day I have mourned
   I know you have too and if you only knew
   That I was just young and uncertain
   Left a hole in my heart for you to look through
   
   Just enough to let the light in
   You’ll find a shimmering blue
   I watched you weary and grow thin
   Etched our prism of faith but I proved untrue
   
   For six years and five I lost my way
   Hurried along and been less right than wrong
   And in four and three suffered sickness
   And this cyclical dream where I don’t belong
   
   Two then one the fire fades
   Our torch it dims now and it won’t be long
   and for one or two you’ve been married away
   and I missed my chance to sing you this song
   
   Close your chest don’t let the light in
   Bury this kist and melt down the key
   all meaning is lost and I’m frightened
   Now where will I go and who should I be?
   
   Shut my eyes don’t let the light in
   For my mornings are cold
   And in the next life I’ll begin again
   But as penance for now, I’ll be growing old.

5. 05Gates of Saints4:12
   The words

   I don’t have long left on this earth to write
   I tried my worst but I must soon give up this fight
   I’ll close my eyes and turn my thoughts to the light
   God didn’t grant a happy ending
   
   you look on me with smiling eyes
   you try and help me to rise above this
   sense of certainty my liberty’s been taken from me
   and I’m headed for my longest night
   God didn’t grant a happy ending
   
   At least this ward is warm and quiet and clean and bright
   and all the doctors dress in robes of pearly white
   Just like the gates of saints, where angels they take flight
   but, God didn’t grant a happy ending
   
   I wish to live with all my might
   Hold the string of my favourite kite
   Instead I’ll lie here as my chest grows ever tight
   God didn’t grant a happy ending
   No, God didn’t grant a happy ending.

6. 06Clutching at Straws4:31
   The words

   She sits alone at the foot of the bed
   Staring straight through the old books that she’s read
   She cycles through the thoughts of that day
   She knows in her heart that they’ll all go astray before morning
   
   She sits a while at the old writing desk
   Sifting through papers each line now a test
   There in a drawer a letter from him
   Opening it now her head starts to swim
   
   chorus
   And she’s clutching, clutching at straws
   the wind in the willows a song for her loss
   She’s holding, holding that stone
   It’s hung forty years round her neck as she’s grown
   Older alone
   
   Grasp the meaning in each twisted line
   Here is a man who was not of his time
   The end of the page is signed with a kiss
   This part of the story she still seems to miss
   
   chorus
   
   They walk side by side now he sets the pace
   Tries to explain he abandoned the race
   ‘All that I saw was fuel for the fire’
   ‘Even you my love couldn’t lift me higher’
   
   chorus
   
   And he’s shifting, shifting his feet
   ‘I’ll turn away now we’ll no longer meet’
   ‘And someday this grief it too shall pass’
   ‘While over my head grows the longest of grass’
   
   chorus

7. 07Fly3:39
   The words

   I’ll sing you a tale of a chance encounter
   and a girl that I once knew
   This is a tale of vast space and short time
   and a love we secretly grew
   we secretly grew
   
   The story is set in the old world
   a waltz through Europe you’ll see
   Zurich and Zug, Venice, Vienna
   In all their bright glory
   In all their bright glory
   
   Now a glance, now a stare
   I look up alarmed and my bell rings
   Does she know that I am bewitched?
   and the toxin it spreads, unfolding its wings
   Unfolding its wings
   
   Butterflies! Does the belly lie?
   Time fits, time starts, she pauses and sighs
   and the hour aches, as the hands tick
   talking with her, those little hairs rise
   those little hairs rise
   
   Not a man who would drop his guard
   but you caught me, easily
   easily burned, you should have spurned me
   thought better of this and walked away
   
   But I saw you stumble
   You felt me crumble
   then the waves of love
   swept over our heads
   
   Causing us to tumble,
   tumble into bed and then
   
   Twenty nights and one day, bowl me over
   Wrap me up in your arms and let me stay
   But I must fly, fly me over
   fold me up in my suitcase, be on my way
   be on my way
   
   She clings to me now as I kiss her face
   We both know that this is the end of our tale
   So I turn my back, shut the door
   Sorrow grows in the space where love hangs in the air
   where love hangs in the air

8. 08As I’ve Grown Older2:52
   The words

   Am I allowed to be proud
   of something you’ve achieved?
   The small part that I may have played
   The wisdom I imparted well received
   
   I close my eyes and there’s no darkness, you’re there shining brightly
   and I’m sure that I was right to only touch the tiller lightly
   
   chorus
   As I’ve grown older my disease has made me colder my own Sisyphean boulder
   You see when I was under all I heard was deafening thunder as my mind was torn asunder
   
   You see, I’m still troubled
   By something in my past
   But I’m sure that I will know myself
   And grow myself with time before the mast
   
   Hope springs eternal from the bottom of your well
   You navigate life’s paths and in your stride you surf the swell
   
   chorus
   
   Am I allowed to be proud
   of something I’ve achieved?
   The small part that fate may have played
   Illusions of free will they’re ill conceived
   
   I close my eyes, there’s only darkness - I’m alone - the world is frightening
   And I wish my time away had been a little less enlightening
   
   chorus

9. 09Walk With Me and Meet My Children5:22
   The words

   Taken swiftly, our first chess piece on life’s board of broken dreams
   No prodigy, no wonder, but the boy I call my brother nonetheless
   While oft times life ebbs slowly
   You were wrested from our family, cruelly
   suddenly, just twelve years of age
   
   chorus
   And I lay the blame squarely
   on the shoe below my knee
   my shattered knee
   
   My final year of high school
   Your first, our first with matching tie and pleated trews
   Your toothy grin eyes a wonder
   as I turn the key and move on through the gears
   While others slowly fade away
   You were taken in that instant
   Now that instant haunts my each and every day
   
   chorus
   
   Though spared I wasn’t able
   To say farewell all dressed in black and at your side
   With bones and spirit broken
   Life it seemed so cruel and wholly fathomless
   Mirror, signal, then manoeuvre - that was the drill
   the other driver he’d been drinking and chewing pills
   That lapse in thinking means I’ll always be enslaved.
   
   chorus
   Still I lay the blame, squarely
   on the shoe below my knee
   my shattered knee
   
   Well the years they creep by
   and I have shared a little joy with those around me
   and these new young lives my daughter grows
   may yet set me free
   
   I’m sorry I know Jo
   All I really want is one day more
   Touch your shoulder, squeeze your hand Jo
   For you to walk with me and meet my children